


Code Red (The Hamiton Pamphlet)

by SaintOlga



Series: fuck heteronormativity (and let's fuck Alex while we're at it) [8]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abortion (mentioned), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Politics, Angelica Schuyler (mentioned) - Freeform, Angelica/Alexander (mentioned), Catherine Schuyler (mentioned), Conversion Therapy (mentioned), F/M, Family, Fluff, Gender Roles, Homophobia (mentioned), Injury (mentioned), Interview, M/M, Multi, Outing, Poly Family, Poly V, Poly with Children, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Scars, Slice of Life, Xenophobia (mentioned), media
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-08 13:01:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7758802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaintOlga/pseuds/SaintOlga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Code Red", the text says. Eliza shuts down her laptop. "Family emergency", she announces, calm on the outside, but with the heart gaining speed in her chest. She doesn't wait for questions.</p>
<p>They only use codes for things that can't be said over the phone, can't leave traces anywhere. Mostly, it means Alex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work opens with the first scene I wrote in this universe. Since then, it continues to grow, scene after scene after scene. Some of them form separate sequences, such as already posted as finished works; some continue to be parts of this one. I'm posting this work as WIP, for now. Each chapter can be read as stand-alone, although they make sense only in the context of the 'verse as a whole. See chapter tags for more details on each.

"Code Red", the text says. Eliza shuts down her laptop. "Family emergency", she announces, calm on the outside, but with her heart gaining speed in her chest. She doesn't wait for questions.

They only use codes for things that can't be said over the phone, can't leave traces anywhere. Mostly, it means Alex.

Alex it is, waiting for her at home, pacing from wall to wall, almost bouncing from them. He looks up as she locks the door. He is pale, and keeps brushing his hair away in a nervous gesture, every second.

"Stop it", John says, coming in from the kitchen. He is in scrubs and holds water bottles for everyone. He takes Alex's wrist, holding his hand away from his hair and tugging him to a chair. A dinner one, it seems that their comfy couch is not a place for him right now. Alex sits down but immediately starts fidgeting.

"Talk", Eliza commands after dropping a kiss on his forehead and finding a seat for herself. Alex blinks.

"Maria Reynolds", he says. Pauses, as if it means something in itself. At their questioning gazes, he explains, "She knows about me and George".

John lets out a shaky breath. Eliza curses. Alex nods, miserable. But before Eliza starts calculating what to do now, remembering their contingency plans, Alex stares at his hands in his laps and says, "This is not all".

He is silent for uncharacteristic amount of time. John prompts him with a look and a sound but he never looks up. Just says, "I had to bargain with her. Give her something so that she wouldn't publish that story. Give her another story. Juicy, just not... that kind of juicy."

Eliza knows where it is going before he says it.

"I gave her us."

There is silence. Not that they weren't ready; their contingency plans have contingency plans. But when shit like this happens no one can be fully ready. Also, unless it was a sudden scoop, they were supposed to _discuss_ this, not have it sprung out at them.

"Burr will be here in half an hour", Alex says miserably. "You can yell at me now."

They don't. They understand. They know, all three of them, that it was a reasonable move because an affair with the seemingly straight President would destroy them all, while a secretly poly marriage...

Well. They can spin it.

Doesn't mean Eliza doesn't want to yell. But Alex looks so lost she can't use him as a target. Yelling can wait. With a sigh, she stands up.

"When does the story go live?" she asks.

"Tonight. Lafayette is picking the children up from school and taking them to Mount Vernon for the weekend. Not that it will help with the exposure much, they all have smartphones..."

John nods and stands up, too. "I need to change." Passing by Alex, he grasps his shoulder briefly, and then hugs Eliza, strong and careful. She runs a hand over his curls. They can deal with it.

After he leaves she scoots closer to Alex. "Hey." He looks very down. Probably guilty for creating the web of relationships that was destined to end in this. Or for giving their privacy to a tabloid. For all his self-assured bravado, Alex tends to feel guilty about things like that.

Eliza drops her hands around him and tugs him closer.

"Fuck heteronormativity", she says quietly. "Let's get through this, and then you'll become America's first poly president."

Alex laughs quietly, grasping at her hands.

In a couple of minutes freshly changed John finds them like this and joins in.

 

* * *

 

For all the issues one might have with his personality, Aaron Burr is _great_ at his job. He comes in with a plan already, detailed and in progress. Looks over them, not cuddling anymore, but somehow huddled together even as they are standing around the kitchen with cups of coffee, and nods to himself.

"Maria Reynolds can be here in fifteen minutes to take quotes from the two of you", he says. Alex shoots his head up.

"Why?"

"Because you only told your side. For a good spin, we need confirmations. John to confirm that this is not an affair. Eliza to confirm she's happy with the arrangement. Where are the children?"

"On the way to Mount Vernon", John supplies, frowning.

"Hmm. Good", Burr looks around the living room and grabs a picture - all of them, on Christmas, in matching Santa hats and green scarves. "Perfect. May we use this for the publication?"

"Do we have a choice?" Eliza asks dryly. Burr looks at her, calculating eyes suddenly soft.

"You do, actually," he says quietly.

They agree to the use of the picture.

George calls, and Alex locks himself in the office for this talk. He emerges right before the arrival of Ms. Reynolds. Eliza hates her a bit; she wants to hate her more, but she is also a woman in a cutthroat business and understands. At least Maria gave them that much of a choice. And time to regroup. It is... almost courteous.

Eliza tells her that although it was quite hard to be an invisible part of the family, it was also liberating to be considered a single woman in the world of business where having a family seems to hold women back as much as it helps men to move forward.

John says that he loves Eliza as much as he loves Alex, although in a different way (nobody needs to know the particularities of their arrangement, fuck you very much), and they are happy, and will be grateful if the media could keep invasion into their privacy minimal, for the sake of their children if not their own. There is a not very hidden bite in his words, but Maria only smiles, all sharp teeth and sinfully red lipstick.

After she leaves they all sit around the kitchen table, they three and the team. Alex is looking at his hands. There is a thick wedding band on his ring finger, matching John’s. They never got rings for the wedding, only bought them when Alex realized that his marriage is now a part of the public domain. Alex's is hollow on the inner side, and the thin one inside matches Eliza's, hidden among all other jewelry she wears on her fingers. Secret in the plain sight.

"When I'm the President", Alex used to say sometimes cuddling with her, "I will make it known to everyone. I promise."

Eliza would sigh and hold his hand tight.

"Wait for the Farewell Address", she would say with a hint of sadness. Alex would shake his head, loose hair flying everywhere.

"Ye of little faith in the America's ability to change fast. They will pass multi-marriage laws under my presidency, just you wait."

Always an idealist. But it's nice to hope. Also, fuck heteronormativity.

Now, after a moment’s consideration, Alex takes off his ring, takes the thin one out and puts both parts on separately. Two bands are now running along each other on his finger. They look at it for a few seconds.

"Good", John says and hugs him close, and reaches around him to tug Eliza in, although she is already leaning towards them. Alex holds them both, kisses one and then the other, again and again, any spot he can reach. Burr looks uncomfortable but nobody cares.

"Okay", Alex says after some cuddling, gently moving to retrieve himself from the interwoven limbs. "There is over three hours until the story goes up. Who's up for Chinese?"

 

* * *

  
**_Threesome of the Century_ **

_BREAKING NEWS According to The Reynolds Pamphlet, Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton had been for many years in relationship not just with his same sex partner John Laurens but also with Eliza Schuyler, previously introduced to the public as a family friend and surrogate mother to their children. We reached out to the trio but they are so far declining any comments..._


	2. Chapter 2

They do a press conference at the White House, Alex talking into the mic calmly, adding a gentle smile when looking at Eliza and John at his side. They do their first TV appearance together on Jessica Williams’ show, although Ellen is a close call. They do a spread for Cosmopolitan because this is what their life is now. There are cameras, make up artists, reporters. Video, because print media films everything anyway. Burr fusses over every word; Peggy is camping in their house with her laptop and tablet and phone since yesterday, checking out social networks. Alex is banned from internet and locked in his office with some boring fiscal documents until there is time to come out and do make up. John fights off all attempts to tame his curls with hair products. Eliza is dressed in a simple light blue blouse and looks like a queen. There is natural light and lemonade in tall glasses, all very pretty and domestic and tooth-achingly staged.

 

* * *

 

Question: How did this relationship came to be?

John: Me and Alex got married in college, as you probably know. Eliza was our friend, she and Alex worked on a committee of a college LGBTQ+ organization. We all met again after our tour in Iraq, and... Well, it's not like we stopped being friends during the army time. She send us both care packages, you know. Every month, like clockwork.

Elizabeth: Well, I couldn't leave two of my closest friends without my cookies!

Alexander: Her cookies are to die for. Try one.

Elizabeth: So, as John said, we all started running around together again after that, me and Alex worked in the legal clinic, and well, I guess there always was this spark...

John: He told me before the spark became the flame, though. But I loved Eliza - not romantically, but as a friend, we grew closer and closer, and of course I saw their connection, and I told Alex to go for it.

Elizabeth: Never tell Alexander Hamilton "to go for it" because he pulls all the stops. I thought I will have to move because my apartment was overflowing with flowers.

John: Ours, too, because Alex didn't want me to feel left out. I told him that if he doesn't stop he will be eating ramen until the end of the month because our budget can't fit all the bouquets.

Alexander: Granted, they reeled me in pretty quickly.

 

* * *

 

 

John’s fingers run through her long hair, straightening them strand by strand. Eliza sighs; keeping her eyes open is harder and harder, but she really wants to see what happens next (because she only saw this movie a few dozens times). It would be better to sit up, but John’s bony knees are surprisingly comfy, so she doesn’t move.

“Why does the POTUS have to be such a jerk”, she murmurs at the screen. John laughs.

“Because it’s a British movie filmed right after the Clinton’s scandal?”

The door bumps open and clicks closed; Alex shuffles into the room, headphones on, still looking at his tablet, and stops only when he bumps into the table. He always has bruises on his shins.

When he finally tears his eyes away from the screen, John sighs in exasperation.

“Honey I’m home?” he mocks gently, clearly articulating – Alex still hasn’t taken off his headphones, blinking owlishly at them.

“Eliza?” he asks, unsure. She rolls her eyes.

“We had a date, you idiot”, she says, not moving from her spot. His eyes grow cartoonishly big.

“We did? Fuck, I…” he grabs the tablet, scrolling, presumably, to the calendar.

“You forgot, you are sorry, I know, I know. Now I have a date with John”, she says and reaches out for John’s hand. He pats hers back, laces their fingers together. Alex looks from one of them to another.

“Oh.”

He looks adorably guilty. Eliza should be angrier at him, it’s not the first time it happened, the campaign makes him forget everything and everyone; he’s been a jerk to John, too, they had a long chat about it before settling down for a movie. But they were planning to go out, and she didn’t really feel like going out, not after a week she had. Maybe she’s old, wanting to stay in on a Friday night. Anyway, it all worked out for the best – she and John vented on their idiot of a significant other, and then settled in to watch their favorite movie.

“Go get yourself some pizza from the kitchen and come over”, John says. Eliza stretches her hand.

“Give me that tablet first! No more work for you today”, she commands. Alex obeys with just a little hint of reluctance. Eliza pushes the offending device under the couch and sighs in content.

“Why is the POTUS in this movie such a jerk?” Alex yells from the kitchen a few moments later. “Is he supposed to be Clinton?.. Why are you laughing?”

 

When the movie and the pizza is over, and John is in the bathroom getting ready for the night, Alex says “I’m really, really sorry”.

“You should be”, she says. “I love you, and I know you love your job, but…”

“But I should remember that I love you more”, he replies. Eliza blinks. She wasn’t sure about that.

Alex notices her hesitation. Right now, his eyes are focused on her, his brilliant mind is focused on her, and he notices. Understands.

“Oh,” he says. “You do know it, don’t you?”

Eliza shrugs, not sure what to say, not sure her voice won’t be too shaky for a reply. Alex shakes his head.

“If I had to choose between the job and you…”

She stops him from finishing this sentence. She is not sure, and she isn’t sure Alex believes this, or wants to believe, but anyway, she doesn’t want to hear it, believe it, and then one day discover it isn’t true.

“You don’t have to”, she says firmly. John is shuffling behind the bathroom door, coming out; Eliza kisses Alex on the lips, once, and saunters away.

 

She waits until morning to ask him to stop sending flowers to her office because her colleagues are asking who she is dating, and she doesn't want to lie but also can't tell them that she's dating a married man. Married to another man, too. 

Alex hides his emotions surprisingly well for someone with eyes as expressive as his, but she still sends guilty flowers to his office.


	3. Chapter 3

Elizabeth: To be honest, we weren't planning ahead. I had my career just starting, and Alex had his, and John was preparing for the vet school. We just went with the flow.

John: Then Philip happened. Alex and Eliza were together what, a year and a half then? We moved together, and the rest is…

Alexander: ...something that history books never mention because it’s just the kind of domestic bliss that is incredibly boring to read but incredibly exciting to live.

 

* * *

  

If Eliza were completely honest she wasn't quite sure she wants this family until Phillip was born.

Oh, they talked, and negotiated, and planned. When the test showed positive Alex and her were together for almost two years; but before that, all three of them were friends, living in apartments a few blocks apart, meeting at least twice a week despite busy schedules. She was actually closer to John than to Alex, always going to this or that art exhibit while Alex grumbled at how he doesn't get it, playing Guitar Hero in the middle of the night. It should have been easy to slip from friendship to romance, from romance to parenthood. Natural.

Of course it was not.

Now, Eliza makes lists. Meditates over every point. "Do I want to give birth to a child?" Four days go before she decides that yes, she does. She tells Alex and John. She would have told them anyway; she just wants to make this decision herself. She doesn’t need to hear "of course it's your decision" and still see the light of hope in Alex's eyes, anxious tightening of John's lips. They both want children, she knows it. They are fighting for Frances, Angelica as their lawyer, clawing at Henry Laurens’ legal team. It's an uphill battle, they've got John visitation rights, Eliza went with him to South Carolina because Alex would have gotten into the fight with Henry. Alex almost cried over the pictures.

It's decided that the child will be born. It's decided that Alex and John both will be parents.

"Do I want to be the mother?" is the next question on Eliza’s list.

She takes weeks to think.

There is so much in her life. He career just starting; her volunteering getting to the next level, with her in the managing role. She could sign off her rights to Alex and John, stay close but without the responsibilities of motherhood. They will be good parents.

John calls her one day, and they meet, just the two of them. Eat some ice cream.

"Would you marry us?" John asks. Eliza stares at him. He clarifies, "If it was possible, legally, would you marry us?"

After a few moments, she says "Yes."

This is not a proposal. Proposal will come later, after Philip is born, before Angie is conceived, with flowers and candles and going on one knee in sync and her getting giggles over the absurdity of these two.

This is her making a decision.

One she isn't sure about for months. One she keeps going back to, because it should follow one thing she hasn't decided yet, the solutions intertwined so much it's impossible to untangle.

If she marries them she cannot _not_ to be the mother of this child, or one of the parents if you want to go a gender neutral route, anyway, she cannot be _not_ involved on this level. If she isn't a parent she can't stay so close. They may try, but she knows it will not work out, too complicated for three complicated people in already complicated life.

She talks to Angelica. To Peggy. To Alex. To John. To Hercules. She thinks, and then talks again. Tries to imagine different scenarios while her belly goes bigger, while the movement starts. She spends some nights at the boys' place, like before. She swats at Alex who is a mother hen, and lets John take her weight when reclining on the couch because he is better than any pillow.

She hates them both when the labor starts.

She makes a decision in that beautiful cliché moment when the boys pass the baby one to another over her hospital bed, and then look at her, simultaneously - they are sometimes creepy like that - and smile, happy and scared and grateful.

She wants them. The baby, and Alex, and John. They are _hers_ , she feels suddenly, ferociously. Feels like the queen of the pride.

In less than a year, with a ring on her finger, hidden among others but warming her skin nevertheless, she is the one to suggest they have another baby or two.


	4. Chapter 4

Question: Eliza, is having two men at home harder or easier for you? Do they help with the children and the chores?

Elizabeth: Oh my, they are not “helping”, they are doing them! I have put my foot down straight away, that I’m not giving up my career, and I won’t be a housewife. Not that it isn’t a valid choice, but it is not for me. So, I went back to work as soon as I could, and John and Alex took care of Phillip during the day. Although Alex soon started working for then-senator Washington, so it was mostly John.

John: Eliza was the breadwinner in this family. Still is, in fact - governmental salary isn’t that much.

Alexander: Treasury Secretary isn’t a high paid profession, trust me. I write my own paychecks.

 

* * *

 

 "I know. I know. I kno... Burr, for a man whose life slogan is ‘talk less’ you talk a LOT... Oh! No, that's not you, that's John biting my neck. ...If you don't want to know don't call me before seven in the morning. No, we're not having sex, I'm making breakfast. Yes. Yes. No. See you there, now please fuck off bye". Alex flips a pancake and turns around. Eliza points a finger at the swear jar without looking up from her organizer. Alex rolls his eyes and stares accusingly at John who is back to crouching in front of the baby chair, feeding Phillip mashed something.

"What?" he says looking up innocently. "I'm hungry."

"So you had to take a bite of me?" Alex asks in mock-anger. John shrugs.

"I feed the little people. You feed the big people."

"With my own flesh and blood? Do I look like Jesus to you?"

"Well, he did call you God yesterday", Eliza says absent-mindedly. They both stare at her. She smiles serenely.

"Don't feed his ego", John groans.

"Technically, it was you who fed it. And so far, it's the only thing getting fed here", she clicks her nails on the table. Alex rolls his eyes and slides a plate of pancakes over.


	5. Chapter 5

Question: Speaking of your profession, Alexander. You are in the top level of politics…

Alexander: Otherwise we wouldn’t be talking about my personal life on the national television.

Question: Yes. Let me tell you - all of you - that I’m sorry about the way your relationships were made public…

John: Let’s call a spade a spade; it was outing, in the same way queer celebrities are forcibly outed even in our day and age, and it is never okay. It was done for a revenue produced for the media by a sex scandal, because sexual life and relationships are still somehow considered a scandal even when it doesn’t involve cheating, or…

Elizabeth: Or men having sex with men in public bathrooms while spouting homophobic nonsense for their political gain. That is a real scandal, not because of homosexuality, but because of hypocrisy. Us… well, we are actually quite boring, although I know the public doesn’t see it as such. On the other hand, we wouldn’t be so private about our family if not for the social norms that center monogamy and don’t allow for other forms of relationships between consenting adults. So if we are now in public we will use this platform to educate the public about polyamory.

Question: Oh, I'm talking to a family of activists!

John: You do.

Alexander: Aaand I can see our publicist making a very familiar face which means she's going to kill me after the filming. Now, your question was..?

 

* * *

 

There is no light in the pen when Washington comes out of his office, and he feels a pang of disappointment - Alex is usually still here, and he has a chance to see him again before leaving. But then a phone screen lights up at Alex's desk, bringing out the bird-like profile, fingers grasping for the device.

"Why are you here in the dark?" Washington asks walking closer. Alex looks up at him, startled. Even in the dull silvery lights, the wet shine under his eyes betrays tears. Washington is speechless. Alex ducks under the curtain of his hair, rubs at his eyes. "They hurt. I need to change contacts," he lies hurriedly.

Washington leans with one hip on the table.

"Alex..." he reaches out to touch his shoulder. Alex shakes his head. His phone buzzes softly, another announcement coming up. Alex ignores it, and so does Washington.

After a few minutes, Alex sighs.

"It's nothing," he says, trying for nonchalant. "It's just... things have been a bit crazy lately." An understatement of the year. "And I... Philipp had to write about his family today, for school," he rushes out. "John sent me his essay. There will be questions again, probably, because the kids have a mother and two fathers, even though everyone thinks Eliza is just our surrogate, but I hate it so much, that we have to allow people to think that she's just an incubator and a glorified nanny, even though she deserves all the recognition in the world, and I want to show everyone how much I love her, but I can't because the world is stupid as fuck, and I chose the stupidest profession in it, and now my family has to hide because of me, and..." he finally runs out of breath, slumps in his chair.

Washington is silent for a while. Then he clasps his shoulder tighter.

"Why have you chosen this profession? Politics?" he asks quietly. Alex snorts - more like sniffles, but Washington will let him have his dignity.

"I keep asking myself that. I could have been a lawyer. Or better yet, an economist, nobody cares about their personal life as long as they are not laundering money into Panama banks through their boytoys. You know," he looks up, blinking with wet lashes, "we actually had this conversation, back when the campaign just started. All three of us, together. Whether I should go into politics, expose us to the public eye like that, especially with Phillip already on the way, and John still fighting for Frances. We decided that I should." He closes his eyes.

"Why?" Washington asks again, his hand now rubbing his shoulder. Alex bites his lip.

"Because I can change the world," he says finally with a derisive snort that only comes out half-sincere. "Make it better. That's all we ever wanted, all three of us, although we prefer different ways. But... They say that I'm good at it, and I can do it, and I believe them, I believe it myself without them saying it, it's just..." He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. Washington's hand edges to his neck and finally covers the back of it, under the ponytail.

"It's unfair that I do it at the expense of my family," Alex says weakly. Washington presses down a bit, and his eyes flutter half-closed. But he opens them, stubborn. "Please don't say that we all make sacrifices."

"I won't," Washington promises. "What I will say, however, is that you are good at it, and you will change the world. Maybe to the point where you won't have to hide your family because... fuck heteronormativity."

Alex laughs incredulously at hearing his own favorite words, and Washington smiles slightly, and gives his neck one last squeeze.

"Come on. I'll take you home," he orders. Alex scrambles to obey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated.
> 
> If you have an idea of what kind of questions they could be asked, or want to know about some aspect of their life, or have another prompt you can drop a line in comments or send me an ask on my Tumblr, and it is quite possible that I will write it.  
> http://saint-olga.tumblr.com/


	6. Chapter 6

Question: Earlier, you mentioned educating the public. Forgive me for phrasing it like this, but the question our readers are quite interested in, is “how does it work?”

Elizabeth: The same way monogamous relationship works; we talk. 

John: A lot. 

Alexander: Honestly, it's the same as any other family. I take the children to school, Eliza picks them up, John takes them to the doctor, we rotate dinner responsibilities, we argue about who’s unloading the dishwasher and plan weekend trips.

Question: And what about the extended family? 

John: I believe you know pretty well by now what my father thinks about me and my relationships.

Alexander: And I’m an orphan. But the family that fostered me in Puerto Rico, the Stevenses, are very welcoming; in fact, we have visited the island a couple of years ago.

Elizabeth: My family was a bit worried when our relationship started, mostly because it was impossible for us to receive legal acknowledgement and benefits, and this is an important practical issue in our society. But otherwise, they are very happy for us, and threw us a lovely party for our commitment ceremony.  

* * *

 

Out of the three of them, only Eliza has parents she still talks to, so their Thanksgivings are full of family unity and cheer and Alex being roasted like a turkey by Mrs. Catherine Schuyler and Ms. Angelica Schuyler in turns. Phillip likes him well enough, and has been sweetened by them naming their oldest after him, so he leaves Alex alone until it’s time for brandy and politics. Peggy works with him, so she has enough opportunities to roast him during their working hours to waste her free time on him. So he usually ends up being passed from a scary matriarch to a scary feminist and back.

They both adore John. This is so unfair.

“I still don’t understand why they don’t hate me,” John says on the way back to the hotel; they leave the kids to have a sleepover, but don’t stay in the house because their sleeping arrangements are something most inhabitants try not to think about.

“You are not the reason I got knocked up before marriage and now live in sin,” says Eliza. “Or… shit, I’m too drunk to remember Angelica’s spin on this.”

“That I’m using you to do the emotional and material work assigned to women by the patriarchy, and despite being a fairly well-versed in intersectional feminism, don’t check my own male privilege often enough to make sure I and my male partner don’t abuse your tendency to conform to social expectations,” Alex recites from memory. “She doesn’t hate you, John, because you went from a political career to be out stay at home dad and therefore subvert gender stereotypes.”

Eliza shakes her head, long hair flowing over the smooth silk of her blouse. “No, that’s what she says to you. For me, she has something else – also internalized, emotional work and social expectations, but with different accents. Now I can’t remember because I have your version in my head!” she punches him lightly. Alex catches her hand and kisses automatically, lowers on his knee without letting go.

“Your sister is weird,” John says, laughing. Alex is on his shoulder, slowly relaxing – he always ends up tense after those evenings, hyped on energy but also nervous. John holds him closer with a hand around his waist, and in a minute, Eliza reaches out with her free hand, wraps it around Alex, completing the circle.

“She’s trying to protect me”, Eliza sighs. She loves Angelica, truly, deeply, but well – everyone has their issues in the family, and hers was to chafe under the protection of her fierce older sister. Even when said sister moved on to embrace all women of the world under her wings, she still has time to spare for the first sister she has ever had.

The fact that she had a thing with Alex in college probably doesn’t help. Eliza doesn’t know much about it except that it was wild, deep and ended with them being still crazy in love with each other’s brains, but not having sex about it anymore.

Alex huffs at her words, but doesn’t say she doesn’t need protection from him. He probably would, a few years ago, but they know better now, all three of them. They can hurt each other deeply. They didn’t, not once, not seriously, anyway; but there were prickles, and bites, and boundaries broken and restored over the years, and now they know each other’s weak spots. Know how not to touch them – but to do so, you have to know where they are. It is so easy to hurt each other in this relationship. For John to be jealous. For them to take John’s work for granted. For Alex to focus on one over another, or maybe on someone else. For Eliza to claim the children for herself. 

So they protect each other. From themselves, too.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated, especially as you can't leave kudos for each chapter - so if you would like to let me know that you enjoyed something by dropping a line, I'll be over the moon.


	7. Chapter 7

_Question: So, Alexander, John, you are both in politics, and very active. How does it reflect on your personal life? Is it hard to be married while working in politics?_

_Alexander: It is, of course…_

_John: (laughs) I think I have seen more of Alex during makeup for this show that I did in a week._

_Alexander: Oh, come on. Seriously, though, it takes a lot out of you. I’m very grateful to John for being patient with me…_

_John: The feeling is mutual._

_Question: You went through a lot before, as a couple, didn’t you? You married quite young…_

_Alexander: Oh my, yes, we did. Marry young, that is. Everything else… You know, a lot of people get married and then get divorced and it’s perfectly okay, this is how relationship work. We are where we are now not because it’s a right thing to do, but because it’s a right thing for us to do._

_John: It took a lot of effort, though. Sticking to each other through thick or thin. It helped that we were friends first, I think ours is a kind of connection you sometimes get with childhood or college friends, that runs so deep you become family._

 

* * *

 

Alex is his first. Not in kissing - that one, he had done once in school, with Francis, and the second time, in the conversion camp with that boy from Geneve, but he tries not to remember the conversion camp. Thankfully, it wasn't one of the bad ones, not with drugs and electrodes. Just a lot of praying, talks that get into your head, under your skin, leave traces of guilt everywhere. And hard work. He got ripped there.

So, Alex is his first in everything else. Starting with having a crush on a man he can actually touch and not be afraid. In fact, Alex touches him constantly, back when they are still just classmates turned friends. Alex hugs him, and throws a hand over his shoulders (and says that his shoulders are fucking wide, John, wow, and it gets John all warm inside), and leans on him when he looks at something in John's notes. He is all over John. But then, he is all over everybody, so this is just new. And yes, John is crushing hard; and yes, he might at some point start touching back, learning to express friendliness in this way, first with Alex, then with Laf and Herc and others, and with the girls, too. It feels great.

Alex is ridiculous. He is too thin, still hasn't grown into his nose, he moves like his elbows are stuck to his sides and has a habit of clicking his fingers together when he doesn't pay attention. He dresses from the thrift stores in clothes that are two sizes too big, cuts his hair himself with the help of a buzzer, and although his eyes are incredibly beautiful, the only part of him that can truly be called that, his eye bags have eye bags. He is sex on two legs.

Alex takes him to his first gay club, and to his first queer bookstore. John prefers the bookstore. Alex keeps commenting on whatever he's reading and getting hushed. Their ankles touch under the table. Alex steals his coffee, lips closing over the plastic lid where John's lips just were. John steals it back. Looks him in the eye when taking a sip. Alex's eyes go wider.

Alex is the first man to touch him under his shirt, to kiss his neck, to tell him how beautiful he is. Alex is the first to push him into the bed, creaky bunk bed in the college dorm room, He runs his hands over John's arms and then pushes them up, above his head, and rolls on top, compact and heavy and warm, constantly moving. Constantly talking, into John's lips, John's skin, about his smell, his curls, his skin, his eyes, his freckles - Alex gets stuck on the issue of freckles, composing a rap poem or something, with a beat set by his hips rocking into John. John struggles free, and holds his face in his palms, and kisses the breath out of him, suddenly brave.

Alex is a series of firsts. The first man he has sex with. The first man he dances with. The first man he holds hands with in public. The first man to suck him off. The first man he calls boyfriend. The first man he feels inside. The first to be jealous of, the first to have a fight with over their relationship, the first to make up with. The first to cuddle with, to fall asleep together, to force to eat during the finals. The first man he loves.

He is also a series of lasts. A few short, not very satisfying trysts aside, John just isn't interested. It's hard to be interested in anyone when Alexander Hamilton took you by storm.

They are together for decades, married for decades, and Alex still has these moments when he looks up suddenly with wonder in his eyes and says, "oh my god, we are married". Like he did when they woke up after the ceremony.

At Eliza, he looks with reverence. To Eliza, he says "oh my god, I'm yours".

John usually throws a pillow at them because they are too sweet and his dental insurance sucks.

 

* * *

 

 

_Alexander: But being stupidly in love - and falling in love again and again and again - really helps._

 

* * *

 

 

Tugging John's shirt off, Alex kisses the scar on his shoulder, angry colors long faded, with most of angry memories. This is from the war. Alex doesn't have one; he spend most of his tour in the headquarters, chafing and sending one application to the front line after another, and arguing his case in front of Washington. He hates that he saw so little action, not because he is bloodthirsty, the opposite, actually, he was leaning pacifist before enlisting. But the feeling that he didn't do enough, wasn't there for John enough, sometimes raises his ugly head. He was in the headquarters while John was fighting, and doing things, and getting shot. Washington can say as much as he want that Alex's job helped more than front line shots ever could; it doesn't feel this way.

His only scar outside of childhood comes from the broken beer bottle slashing across his forearm. Result of a guy who had one too much to drink not believing that two "pretty mama's boys" actually know what they are talking about when they cut into an ignorant and aggressive conversation about Iraq and the Muslims and the war. (Maybe they had one too much that night, too. Maybe they just can't not jump into discussions with idiots.) The fight is quick and dirty and full of shouts, and then they get arrested. At night in jail, John gets a flashback; Alex beats his hands bloody on the door before they get help. Eliza, then still a friend, swoops in to save their sorry asses, descending upon the police like an angel of vengeance. It would be super hot if Alex wasn't so busy worrying about John.

He doesn't worry often now. They are good; John is good, years of therapy and support groups and comfortable, calm life paying off. Now, Alex kisses his shoulder and he doesn't flinch, doesn't tell him off; he just sighs softly, clawing at Alex's pants. Alex spreads him out on the bed, mouthing his chest, his stomach. "God, you are ripped", he says following the relief with his tongue.

John laughs and flips them over.

"You should come with me to the gym more often", he says, holding Alex down easily. Alex arches up, lazy and seductive. He doesn't have time for the gym. "I can't get much done when my hot husband is lifting in front of me", he says, lowering his lashes. John laughs again, nips at his lips.

"Excuses, excuses", he says and lowers himself down, welcome heaviness on top. Alex gasps and immediately curls his legs around him, holding close, rubbing in. John smiles, sunny and sharp, still holding his hands above his head.

"What should I do with you?" he asks, eyes and voice both going darker. Alex's breath catches, excitement rising.

"Anything you want, love", he says, and reaches up for a kiss.


End file.
